Messy Christian (2.0)

Ok, I swear this is my last post about contact lenses. Ok, darn, you shouldn’t make promises like that. But anyway, the crux of this post is, if you’re thinking of trying out contact lenses but are afraid to, do it anyway.

I was quite afraid to wear them, and miffed that I was afraid of an itty bitty piece of plastic, I decided to try it out. Boy, my contact wearing experience wasn’t smooth sailing. First, the salesperson didn’t teach me properly how to care for them, so for weeks I was wearing dirty lenses which made my eyes itch. Luckily a colleague taught me how to properly clean them, and it was fine for a while…

Until I switched solutions - the solution you use to wash your lenses. Then, for a month I found that wearing contact lenses was problematic again. Itchiness, redness etc… and I couldn’t figure out why. After cleaning the lenses with the solution and wearing it, I found that I felt a sting when the lense touches my eye. Sometimes the sting lasts for some time, to the point where the eye will turn red and begin weeping big, fat tears. I thought that my cleaning regiment was suspect, so began to be more careful, but to no avail.

But this month, I decided to use Renu, and to my amazement, the lenses were comfortable. Decided to experiment by washing my lenses with the other brand again and wore it on my eye again. Whaddya know - it stung! Ow!

Not convinced, I tried it again later, and when the same thing happened I realised that I’m allergic/sensitive to this particular solution.

Apparently this is pretty rare, so you don’t have fret much unless you’re as unlucky as me.

But it looks like I’ll be sticking to Renu from now on.

Despite these problems, wearing contact lenses has been liberating. It’s so nice not to have something sit on the bridge of your nose. Sometimes it’s so heavy that it gives me headaches, so yeah, am not missing the glasses much. But towards the end of the day, your eyes do get tired and the lenses start becoming hard … that’s a little pesky. Still, am liking it.

So contact lenses or no contact lenses? You gotta try it to believe it…

Sorry guys, for not being able to update for the past few weeks. Have been so tired from work and running around trying to get ready for my San Francisco trip. I’m usually harried for weeks before my trip, trying to make sure everything in the office is a-ok when I go, and preparing for work in advance, this time three weeks’ worth! Gulp …

But nevertheless, am having a blast because my best friend Chris is coming along! YIPEE! I always worried witless, wondering if some tyrant at the US embassy would deny her a tourist visa, but I shouldn’t have worried.

And if anyone of you want to meet me in San Francisco or Los Angeles, drop me an email as I’ll be ‘net connected when I’m there. I’ll be bringing my new toy, the world’s ittiest bittiest and cheapest laptop - the eeepc - along.

I’m wondering …

This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him. - 1 John 5:14-15 (New International Version)

So I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. - Mark 11:24 NRSV

I grow up expecting not to burden my parents too much with my frivolous requests, so I suppose I treat God the same way. I feel as if it’ll be terribly rude, and terribly gauche for me to ask him for things like “I want a new car” or, “I want to go to Australia for a holiday!”

So, when I wished longingly in my heart that a) I could go to San Francisco for a holiday and b) travel there business class, I never expected in my wildest dreams to be granted that!

Do you think sometimes God blesses us with things to prove a point?

I have a particular problem when it comes to asking God for help. In fact, people have to remind me that I can ask God for help. As silly as it sounds, God is almost always my last resort because I’ve trained myself to handle everything myself. And when I do, I’m like Oliver Twist asking, “Please sir, can I have some more?”

Hmm, I can imagine what God must be thinking about my approach…

Recently, I had a conversation with God about this. I mean, when is it okay to ask for blessings, and why are some of our wishes not answered?

Like this whole working overseas thing. My sister is now working in the US, as some of you know, and I’ve been having trouble dealing with it because I thought that, by golly, that’s my dream and I should do it too!

And I asked God petulantly, why weren’t I given that opportunity? Sniff. (I can sound like a four-year-old when I want to.)

The answer that came back was surprising (because I 90% expect God not to answer) and heartening: “Perhaps it’s because He knows what will truly make you happy.”

Believe me, I don’t have such wisdom. And when I think about it, it’s true - I’m happy the way I am now. It’s the whole sinful nature side of me that covets others’ blessing that’s in play.

But coming back to “frivolous desires”. God has granted may of them. I’m always floored when they are. And my reaction is always, “I don’t deserve this! What can I do to repay you?” (In fact, I had this conversation with Him this morning!!)

Anyone of you as neurotic as me when it comes to God’s blessings?

My best pal Chris and my bro planned to visit San Francisco at the end of this year, and I was already sweating, thinking about the cost.

Then two weeks ago, my boss calls me and asked me if I wanted to go to San Francisco for an assignment.

After a second of astounded silence from me, I nearly yelled, “YEAH!”

And the sweetest deal about this assignment is that I’ll be flying business class. (Cries tears of joy.)

When I tasted business class on my recent Bangkok trip, I thought longingly, “If only I could fly business class during long haul assignments … like when I’m going to the US.”

It’s as if God heard my wishes and granted them.

I know we shouldn’t think of God as the “vending machine in the sky”, and I’m pretty strident about it … so much so that I often wonder why God should bless me. (Therein lies major psych issues that a counsellor should unravel.)

Do you feel guilty when good things happen to you? I often do, because I often feel like I don’t deserve it. But you know, God, I do really, really, really appreciate Your blessing.

I’m really looking forward to San Fran. Can’t wait to see what’s there!

Not being able to blog about your political leanings because it may not be great for your career.

Grumble.

Well, after a few days of poking my eyes out to put on a thin piece of plastic, I’ve finally gotten the hang of it.

It turns out that I don’t have sensitive eyes after all, but my technique was all wrong. It took a friend, who has been wearing contact lenses for 2 decades, to teach me the proper technique to wear and clean the lenses. And it finally dawned on me that the reason why I’ve felt so horrible after wearing the lenses was:

So what’s the lesson here? The lesson is to be properly taught how to put on the lenses. Unfortunately, not many salespeople (like the one I went to!) can teach properly or bother to teach you proper lense care, so make sure you get one that knows what he’s talking about.

Aiyoh, I tell you, if I’ve not asked my friend about the proper technique etc, I would still be suffering. Now, when I put it on (I still not so expert, so it takes me about 20 minutes to put them on) it feels so comfortable, as if nothing is on my eye.

That’s the way it should be. If there’s even the slightest pain after wearing it that means there’s something wrong. The most telling sign is pain when you move your eyeball - it usually means it’s put on the wrong side or there’s dust or dirt in the lenses.

I’ve always been afraid of wearing contact lenses, because the thought of putting something on your eye just doesn’t compute for me. But lately I’ve been telling myself that if you’re afraid to do something, all the more better to break that barrier of fear. So that’s why in December, I purchased myself a set of disposable lenses …

… and collected them in March.

Okay, so I got a bit of fear left in me still.

But I still, I did sit down and try learn to wear them from the lady in the shop and she tried to help me put the lenses on, and can I tell you that it took me HALF AN HOUR just to put the right side on! And when I finally did put it on, it stung like HELL. And I actually said loudly (no, I didn’t scream, scout’s honour): “Take it out! TAKE IT OUT! TAKEITOUT!”

My eye was red and shedding big, fat tears, and the lady thought she blinded me or something.

But after one hour, I was wearing the lenses, but they were really uncomfortable - it felt like something was on my eye. She said it was normal, but I wondered if it was because the lenses were not properly cleaned.

Ever since then, I’ve been wearing it a few times, (and the stinging sensation isn’t as bad now). It’s liberating not to have something sitting on the bridge of your nose, but I have a feeling I’ve not been cleaning it properly because on Sat, after wearing it the lenses on my right side, it began itching, and then turned red. About three hours later, my left eye also started itching…

The things we do for beauty…

Well, have been doing research, and found these videos:

How To Clean Contact Lenses

How To Insert Contact Lenses

As I’ve thought, I’ve been doing it all wrong. Might as well have not cleaned it … the saleslady didn’t teach me properly. Tsk Tsk. I’ve just been dribbling the solution on the lenses. BIG DUH.

PS: The video shows that we have to clean it and then store it, and when the lady put on the contact lenses, just took it out from the case and put it in her eye without cleaning them. Do you guys clean it before you put it on your eye? I read somewhere that if you rinse the lenses with the solution and then put it on your eye it could sting. What do you think?

I absolutely love the Gaelic Blessing … by Cantus Musicus in 2007

The Virgin’s Cradle Hymn .. by Cantus Musicus, Christmas 2007

After my, uh, divorce from a certain choir group (I cite “irreconciveable differences”*), I thought my stint with choral music was over. Surely no choir group could match the group’s repertoire (or accept me! lol).

Then I found out about Cantus Musicus from Ee Tan and when I hear that they perform sacred music in different languages (Latin, German, Russian even Gaelic!) I was immediately hopping with excitement. I adore sacred music; the songs remind me of my favourite composer’s music - Bach - perfect, almost mathematically so!

But I really wonder if I could qualify though. Everytime people say I have to audition, I gulp and wonder if I’ll qualify.

But I called the choir master and she seemed … positive. (Cross fingers)

I may be singing alto 1 (which is higher alto) though my voice can stretch to second soprano. But actually, I do enjoy alto. It’s a challenge to blend with other voices and it’s oh-so-wonderful to hear all the voices coming together. Singing melody all the time could get boring after a while … (though as second sop, I do get to diverge once in a while…)

I love being part of a choir, especially when singing worship songs of whatever age. I just feel as if I can *really worship* then. I don’t really know how to explain what I mean except that when I do sing in a choir (or dance in a worship retinue) I feel very happy.

* This is what happens when you defend someone from a little Napolean….

I love parties. I love organising them too. Heh. It’s difficult to imagine that for years I never even tried because I was afraid people won’t show up. But after the initial terror, organising parties (and even attending one) is like second nature to me now and I look forward to having fun with my friends each time.

So last Sunday I had a little “Celebration” party with my pals. (Celebrating what? The General ELection results loh…) Among them: Wilful sunflower, Jesscet, Lynnee and my church friends Amy and Eric and their kids.

At first, I was wondering whether there was any point celebrating cos the week was such a tumultuous one (and at that time, Perak MB wasn’t sworn in yet) but I decided to go ahead in good faith - that there IS a cause for celebration.

The party was so fun! We, of course, had to discuss Malaysian politics, and it was an interesting time cos Amy and Eric, who were Americans, were curious about our politics, so we explained to them why it’s a big deal.

Recently I ran a poll about the Malaysian Election, and a lot of non-Malaysians voted “Don’t get what’s the big deal”. No worries, here’s where I explain it to you.

In US history there are amazing moments where the people rallied to change the country. Remember the Martin Luther King marches? Well, GE 2008 was something like that - where the people of Malaysia decided that “enough is enough” and voted for change by vast numbers. Instead of the predictable “Malay/Chinese/Indian will only vote for Malay/Chinese/Indian/ candidates” the voters voted based on principle instead of race. This is a MAJOR brekathrough. Basically Malaysians are saying “No more racial politics!”

In fact, if you read the blogs and the newspapers, you can see the people’s displeasure when racial politics are being played. Things are very different now.

My friend Simone said that, “It’s not a great time to be in Malaysia right now, but it’s exciting.”

I agree about the exciting part, but I beg to differ about the “not a great time” part. I think it’s a wonderful time to be in Malaysia right now because we’re witnessing history, and best of all, we can choose to be part of that history by helping Malaysia to be better. And better, the pervasive feeling of helplessness and “My vote cannot change anything” is now gone. People realise they have power now. Sure, we’re not as progressive as countries like Australia and the United States, but they have gone through their own historical political tsunamis before becoming what they are today.

It’s my hope that one day Malaysia will be there.

So, on that night, we raised our wine glasses (Ee-Tan brought red wine!) and toasted to a hopeful future.

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And my favourite:

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